In the midst of this coronavirus pandemic, when there is so much uncertainty and fear and risk, I keep reminding myself, “Carry your own weather.” I learned this lesson years ago and have always remembered it. After many years of practicing this myself and observing it in others, I am convinced this is a true principle and I know it works, even in very difficult circumstances!
Be Proactive
In Stephen R. Covey’s timeless book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, his first habit is being proactive. Why did he make this the first of the 7 habits? Because it’s the foundation of being a highly effective person and all the other habits depend on it. Rather than simply reacting to our environment, we need to be proactive and choose how we respond to situations. As Dr. Covey says, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose.”
In special instances, like when we look down and see a scorpion about to sting us, we need to react instantaneously. However, those instances are rare. Most of the time, especially where important decisions are being made, it’s best to avoid rash decisions and actions. As our minds begin swirling with concerns about the coronavirus and its potential harm to our lives, our families, our businesses, and our communities – our hearts begin to race and our anxieties increase. When this happens – Stop! Recognize we are reacting to the situation. Take a deep breath. Choose a proactive response.
Circle of Concern
Want to know if you’re being more proactive or reactive? A simple test is to examine how much your thoughts and energy are focused on your “circle of influence” instead of your “circle of concern.” When we focus on our “circle of influence”, positive energy abounds and our mood and circumstances improve as we channel our energy on improving the situation. As an added bonus – when we proactively focus our energy on our circle of influence, that circle grows and expands as we make progress and others are attracted to our positive energy and direction. The same is true in reverse – if all we focus on is the things we’re concerned about but can’t influence, negative energy abounds and people are repelled from us.
Can Do Attitude
One of the best illustrations I’ve found for proactive thinking comes from sports psychologist Dr. Craig Manning who talks about having a “can do attitude.” He tells the story of a time when one his athletes blamed their poor performance on the weather.
Dr. Manning quickly spotted this reactive mentality and challenged the tennis player to think about what she could do about the situation. Initially, she reacted with a helpless attitude saying, “I can’t change the weather!” and made childish suggestions like “I can build a roof over the tennis court.” But as he continued to push her, “what…can…you…do?”, she figured it out! She could work on her attitude! She could practice in the rain to get more comfortable with playing in it. She could bring a second pair of clothes and an umbrella in case it rains. She could check the weather and prepare herself mentally before the game. The more she came up with these “can do” solutions, the more the grey clouds went away and her negative energy turned to positive energy.
Stockdale Paradox
Please don’t misunderstand what it means to “carry your own weather.” I’m not telling you to lie to yourself and others. In fact, it’s just the opposite – I’m asking you to tell yourself the truth about the situation. Don’t let the intensity of something in your environment lie to you and tell you you’re doomed and there’s nothing you can do about it.
As Jim Collins teaches in his book Good to Great, we need to embrace the Stockdale Paradox and (1) acknowledge the realities of the dire circumstances we may be in (in James Stockdale’s case he was a prisoner of war for 7 years) while (2) simultaneously believing everything will work out. Stockdale explains, “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”
We Can Do This!
I promise we can carry our own weather in these difficult times. We can’t control the coronavirus or the economy or the healthcare system, but there’s still so much we CAN do. We can do our part to follow the guidelines provided by the CDC and others. And, we can use this time to do so many good things for ourselves, our loved ones, and others that we previously have always wanted to do but didn’t have the time.
